Dear you,

Pernahkah merasa kamu berbeda atau bahkan merasa asing? It is okay dear, you are all good. Seiring bertumbuhnya usia, seiring berjalannya kehidupan, kamu akan memahami mana hal-hal esensial dan mana hal yang at the surface level. Pada saatnya itu pula ada pilihan-pilihan yang kemudian memang tidak selalu menyenangkan banyak orang. But, dear, it is all well. Because even if no one think you matter, Allah thinks you matter. Even if we decide what is best for us and not everyone appreciates but it is in the favor of Allah, that is all we need. To choose what pleases Him.

Pernahkah merasa dirimu amat sangat complicated? Dan ketika orang lain menganggap hal-hal yang berarti seperti remeh temeh dan sangat mungkin terjadi menjadi hal-hal yang tidak penting atau bahkan make fun of it. I know sometimes we take things personally. But, the thing is we have eyes, ears, hearts, and minds; those are the gifts of Allah. Dan salah satu cara kita bersyukur ialah mengapresiasi bahwa kita melihat dg lensa mata yang kita miliki dan lensa mata yang orang lain pakai. Try to put our feet in someone else’s shoes. Try to see by seeing from someone else’s eyes. Try to think by thinking from someones else’s minds. Try to feel by feeling from someone else’s heart.

Kau tahu mengapa pelangi itu indah? Karena ia berwarna-warni berharmoni tidak menuntut atau mempertanyakan kenapa dirinya berwarna merah, jingga, kuning, hijau, biru, nila, ungu. Dan karena dia dicipta dari sebuah cahaya putih yang dibiaskan (terdispersi) sehingga cahaya yang adalah gelombang terbagi ke dalam panjang gelombang yang berbeda. Perbedaan panjang gelombang inilah yang mengakibatkan munculnya tangga warna yang kita sebut pelangi. Begitu pula manusia. Manusia itu unik dengan karakteristiknya masing-masing. Mereka memiliki kesamaan dalam fitrah yang mengarahkannya kepada kebaikan dan niat baik. Jika ada orang yang jahat dia artinya sedang tercerabut dari akar fitrahnya. Namun, perihal karakter kita tak bisa menilai baik-buruk tanpa konteks atau penyesuaian pada frame setiap keunikan karakternya. Apabila ada mereka yang memang hidup dalam layer, mereka bukan tidak ingin menunjukkan diri aslinya atau mungkin kita justru yang berprasangka buruk apabila kita menilai bahwa orang yang berusaha keras menjaga dirinya itu sebagai orang yang fake. Hal ini tidak bersifat absolut. Tidak semua yang tidak ditampakkan adalah fake. Karena ada sifat manusia yang memang memiliki kenyamanan pada lingkaran tertentu artinya dirinya hanya cukup dikenal oleh orang-orang yang memang matter untuknya. Kepribadian inilah yang mungkin identik dengan sifat yang dominan sebagai introversion. Mereka tidak membuka diri pada sembarang orang. Ada pula, mereka yang tampaknya extrovert tetapi sejatinya ada sisi introvert. And all are good. They are not good or bad. They are just different personalities.

Fake personalities ini jadi topik yang menarik juga ya. Yang perlu dipahami bersama, setiap manusia memang memiliki kadar yang berbeda. Coba lihat bintang-bintang saja memiliki tingkat terang yang berbeda. Mengapa ini terjadi? Karena barangkali intensitas cahaya yang dipancarkan setiap bintang memiliki tingkatan yang berbeda. And that doesnt define which one is better off. No not at all. It shows uniqueness. Fake personalities yang kita gaungkan adalah ketika kita tidak menerima diri kita dan framing menjadi pribadi yang bertolak belakang dengan kenyataan.

Lalu, apakah kemudian kita berhak untuk men-judge which one is fake and which one is true? My dear friend, the one who deserves to measure one’s intention is Allah. We can measure by our limit as a human, but the ability to measure people’s intention are limited because we see only what is visible. And that creates biases and wasteful act. And if at some points, you feel unworthy because of sin, know that Allah’s forgiveness is open widely to you, it is just ONE sujud away. Istighfar and do sajjada with humility, insha Allah, Allah loves those who repent. And if Allah protects you with modesty meaning that He saves you with good and keep you from the revelation of sin, that also doesn’t mean that you need to show off your sin. No, they are two different things. If Allah keeps your ugly part, it is because of His mercy and you should be grateful for that. And there is no need to show it off or even think that if you don’t show it off you feel guilty or naive. No. Because it is part of modesty, dear. That is even more essential if you are a leader or even influencer, or may be you are a mother. Everyone has identity. You need to address which ones are necessary for you to show to your kids, and which are not. You need to be mindful to your own deeds, because your kids will follow you. Do this by the intention of Allah, keeping it good for Allah, such as to avoid any unexpected or sin followed by others or even the misused of the sin, that is why we need to cover our sin. And if we need to share, make it the intention for goodness, in hoping that others learn from our very own mistake so that they may take some goodness from us.

So, at the end, we need to open our eyes, mind, and hearts. We need to acknowledge what we feel and what we value most and accept what makes us different from others and won’t affect our quality. We need to understand that people are unique.

“I met you as a stranger and I leave you as a friend. We love each other because we are similar. We learn from each other because we are different.”

Because at the end, what matter is what matters to Allah all alone. That is why we repent because sometimes we prefer things that dont please Allah or maybe wasteful stuff or deeds we do, astaghfirullah wa atubu ilayh.

Life is a journey of transformation of self discovery, finding a way back to return home. To the eternal home, Allahu Rabbul ‘alamiin. So, if you feel like you have changed alot and yet, no one understands. It is okay it just needs time. And if it feels strange, no worries. The believers are like travelers, they are always strange for the common senses and to common people in the contrary. We can appreciate the differences and still live in harmony because that what makes it beautiful. But, we dont need to rush or force people. Because at the end, Allah is the owner of guidance. It is because of the roots of our hearts and minds belong to Allah, Yaa Dzal Jalali wal ikram.