And now the end is near. And so I face a final curtain. My friend, I’ll say it clear. I’ll state my case of which I’m certain.

I’ve leaved a life that’s full. I’ve traveled each and every high way. And more, much more than this. I did it my way.

Yes, there were times, I’m sure you knew. When I bit off more than I could chew. But, through it all, I ate it up and spit it out. I faced it all and I stood tall, and did it my way.

(My Way, by Frank Sinatra)

Dear readers,

It’s been a long while since the last time I wrote a blog post. I surely miss doing this. But, to tell you the truth, I have been too exhausted just to post. It is like the moment you have too much and then, you just dont know what to say. Even so, I feel so grateful to finally get a time (such a runaway from my life routine) to set back and reflect. Things have gone unexpectedly well with so much ups and downs. The environment where I currently work becomes nicer though still a tough life. It is kind of an intersection of the academic and private life since PP partnership is such complicated world. It is good when the people have the same frequency and goals. Most of the time, conflicts of interest occur. Perhaps we get used to all the inconveniences, as time goes by. That way, we naturally have the ability to adapt though it depends on the person for how long each will be.

Some funny things, sweet gifts, and inspirations from those bapak-bapak have been such surprises lately. More importantly, I have been in the edge of a long way. Perhaps, it is time to leave. But, things themselves require me to stay. I remember that the saying goes, never stay in a calm water. Dive in the most dangerous, wide, wild, stormy, and ridiculous waves.

Last week, I finally had a chance to share with the kids and all volunteers across the archipelago about my life mission. It was totally healing and curing in this imbalanced working life to see the smiles and sincere hearts of the kids. It was such a deep relief to hear their laughter and the calling “Ibu Isna”. Indeed, I have been called with a name “ibuk” by the whole class and even my own teacher since I was in primary school, isn’t it sweet?

“Apa untungnya buat kalian melakukan ini?”  Nggak capek ya? Bukannya udah sibuk?” “What is the benefit for you by doing this? Dont you feel tired? Arent you busy?” Ibu Kepsek bertanya, teman dan kolega bertanya, Bapak Ibu bertanya. 

I feel good by doing this. I feel I have a value within myself. I love doing this, sharing and finding inspiration within. And I find happiness. I hope, others, too.

Now, it feels like I know what I want in life. Though it seems so far away from the world I am in at the time, I believe in my way. So, where are you going?