It has been a while since the last time I wrote here. My life rhythm has changed for some reasons. I work really hard to keep up the pace. Hopefully.
Especially, dear Pingit Ceria,
It has been almost half of the year we keep ‘wandering’ around, where have we gone? Are we wasting time for something wasteful? Whither then will we go?
It is quite dark outside. I am in the midst of a really ‘noisy’ convenience store in such early morning after fajr. The office is certainly closed until perhaps 8.30 or 9 am. So, I immersed myself in my unfinished stuff before it really opens. But, the broken speaker filled in the room with such broken voices that really destruct my peace of mind hehe. I let my headset save me and start living my own life.
Those questions in the opening are some thoughts that popped up in my mind. I fell asleep for few minutes and hoped that I was in a wonderland. But, the truth is I am all around with the multiple files of papers ready for editing and hundreds of pages of the annual reports that seem to be neverending to me. Hey I know I can end this beautifully, yes, really really soon, hopefully. Pray for me, please. Writing this random thought is kind of my runaway activity to a refreshing mind. I hope you guys don’t mind that I am writing this randomly. Just say, a dedication for those who think others, who are passionate about doing goodness, who teach me many things from handling emotions until realizing dreams. Especially for Monic, who decided to take another journey and that we have missed you at the time of your flight. I feel bad for that. And soon, Nadia who will travel to another part of the world, the country of windmills. May this random be something I can only send you before leaving abroad hehe. Also, Ali, who is suddenly “trapped” in a bunch of people who perhaps haven’t really met, worked, or ever shared anything together before. Thank you all for having yourself an intention for this random thought yet on a way to a meaningful one. There isn’t much we can take so far. But, a learner is someone who could learn any simple thing in life as a lesson, right?
It all started from a random note I posted on facebook. Forgive my randomness. Here is my quite randomness:
Rolling the eyes from the screen to the stack of papers, switching from the microsoft word, microsoft excel, social media, blog, tumblr, and line. All over and over. A wandering mind again.
Sometimes good idea came across at this critical situation. And keep asking why life has come so dull lately. Bingo, I have just found a good idea, a good name for something fun like The Cheerful Pen School (Sekolah Pena Ceria). It could be better than that. “The Love Project”. The Love Project is an abbreviation of Literacy Outreach Initiative Project. Have you ever imagined reading stories to children in the mall, airport, shopping centers, or other public places? I think it would be fun! Anyone is interested in it? Anyone would like to join in the team and make it happen? Just drop me a message. Let’s discuss and act. At the end, I was stumbled upon and somehow moved by the visionary words of this CEO from the Hult Prize video of vision…
“…I imagine the world where there is no differentiation between social and business where doing good and doing well are things that we just do because it’s the right thing to do…” Ahmad Ashkar-CEO of Hult Prize
It was the first time in my life that I called for teammates randomly with a hope of finding the true sense of doing things, of dreaming things, of turning peculiar things into meaningful ones. I mean doing things because we want to do those things as we find that we could see the same meaning of a thing that we make it meaningful because we all think that things that are meaningful are little things that we start (ngomong apasih Isnak). The point is I want it to be that you really want to do it even if it is a little thing you do. There are so many people who are excited and appreciate my random thought. But the ones who really made the move are you hehe.
The old saying goes, a big leap starts from a little step. Those little steps, the milestones that we are taking on any ways, are what we have accomplished. I am so thankful for meeting you all. We haven’t accomplished anything. Yet, accomplishment means differently for different people. Learning itself is something to celebrate, to be thankful for. It perhaps sounds too dramatic or melancholy. Yet, I want to tell you that even if there hasn’t much we got, I am still thankful for having you shared your thoughts, feelings, spirit, values, and perhaps, it is going to be a long story to write about what we learnt from all the people we have meet along the way. Especially I learn how to cope with new people, and how hard to settle from zero with the fact that we have not known each other well. But, we made this decision to make something meaningful oh well can we say meaningful or perhaps meaningless? I did learn simple thing of how baper I am as you guys said. I am trying not to be baper here. But, whatever hehe.
Honestly I am at the stage of this emotional feeling that I feel like I could not go on, it is something too good to be true. Yet, I would not expect anything back anymore. Whatever we can do, just do. Wherever we are, we can do something. This time makes a dejavu feeling as well. It reminds me several years ago, I left home for the first time. I left an unfinished research project on junk food with my teammates, Sony and Hendri. I owed these two good friends with the fact I still kept all the data in my personal research book. Haha I even made that kind of book, a little green agenda book. It was hard to live a new life and our past at the same time. Indeed, we have gathered all the data and I made records in my personal research book. I really wish that we could continue working on the data even if it was not easy. But you know what, perhaps life isn’t as easy as I thought. We live in different life. We could not expect others. The only one to count is ourselves. Now, at this moment, I can say that am not the one who leave, instead, the first to be left (lebay mode on). I wouldn’t expect that we could make it together to realize the dreams because I really don’t know where all these are gonna take us. But, we can still do little by little. I can’t guarantee much but let it just flow. I am not sure if I am good at this field in Pingit. But, the simple thing I can do is to share what I have learnt with you. And I am so glad that I found people like you all. Thanks for being such inspirations to me. My beloved mentor, Bu Wulan said, there are just many important things in life, go find what is important for you, and go for it, really go for it. Besides, there is my favorite quote, ’What essential is invisible to the eye’, by Antoine de Saint Exupery. The essential thing of the fact that we might not be able to handle things together is to keep sharing and moving forward on our little steps in anyways we can. I know, there is something to be learned along the way, in any way we decided to take, either good or bad. And I will miss having people I can share with, people who can move me to do something meaningful. Thank you for being there. I hope that we can still share no matter where.
P.S.: Please write for people here while you are in the wonderland. Take us with your story! I will hopefully share my journey as well even if it sounds ordinary. I know you guys are great writers, I am a blog walker, hehe. I can’t wait to read your story hehe.
Just another random story,